What’s it to you?

John 21:22 (NLT)

Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

As I was listening to my Bible app the other day, this conversation between Peter and Jesus took on a whole new meaning for me. I actually got tickled thinking about it! 😄 Jesus and Peter just concluded this deep heart-to-heart moment where Jesus repeatedly asked Peter, “Do you love me?” (Verses 15,16,17)

Peter was so overcome with emotion as the Lord asked him the third time, and Peter anguishly repeated himself, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” And, Jesus continues to prophesy over Peter ending with the command, “Follow me.” (Verse 19)

Then, Peter turned around, looks at John, and says, “What about him?” Wow! Isn’t that how we are? What about him? What about her? What about that group? What about that organization? We are always worried about someone else.

When we focus on others rather than ourselves, we fall into the trap of comparisons. When we compare one to another, we will never be satisfied. In some way, we always fall short. We are unique individuals. No two people share the same fingerprint. If even our fingerprints differ, why would we expect other aspects of our body to “look just like so-and-so”? Our physical appearances are distinct, our personalities vary, and certainly our talents and abilities are diverse.

I love how Jesus answered when Peter inquired about John, “What is that to you?… Follow me.” Right back to his command from verse 19, “Follow me.”

If we keep our eyes on Jesus, and follow wholeheartedly after him, perhaps we will cease to meddle in the business of others. We are not called to judge but love. When the comparison tempter arises, remember Jesus’s words, “What’s it to you? Follow me.”

Consider the Bluebonnets

1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.

Matthew 6:28b-30 (KJV)

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: and yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall He not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?

My daughter and I made a 24 hour trip simply to see the Texas wildflowers blooming alongside the road way. Naturally, we threw in some eating and shopping along the way. We took our time, and on more than one occasion, we stopped and took advantage of the picturesque views.

Jesus said, “Consider the lilies….” I can imagine if Jesus was from central Texas He might have said,

“Consider the bluebonnets….”

As I gaze upon the field of wildflowers, I marvel at the beauty and contrast. Bluebonnets, Indian Paintbrushes, and Butter Cups are a few of my childhood favorites. Each flower unique in color and form, yet together, they create a beautiful blanket for the earth.

Jesus said of the Father, “…shall He not much more clothe you?…” Why is it so difficult to place our trust in God? He proves himself season after season. God’s got this! He clothes the flowers, and He will clothe me.

1 Peter 5:7 assures me. I am what God cares about! He cares for me. The word “care” in the Greek means: to be of interest or concern. God is concerned about me. God is interested in me.

All my cares, worries, and anxieties I have in this world are no match for my God. I must give my cares to Him. You must give your cares to Him. For, He cares for me, and He cares for you!


Shame. The emotion floods in as strong today as it did over twenty years ago. As if time and life haven’t continued to move, as if I’m the only one to have ever made a mistake, as if I haven’t successfully helped others through similar situations, as if I’ve never done anything “good”, the shame hangs over me like a weight.

Naive. Could I have been any more gullible? I was always a little boy crazy and eager for that first kiss. Always overweight and worried I wasn’t pretty enough for the boys to like me. Always flirting, hoping for attention, and afraid of rejection. So whenever attention came my way, I clung to it like a lifeline unaware of the intentions behind the attentions.

Unrestricted. I had no rules. Always the “goody two-shoes” growing up, I expanded my horizons upon entering college. I had never attended a party where alcohol was accessible. It intrigued me. All of my new “friends” were familiar with this scene. I learned to play the drinking game, quarters. I didn’t care for the taste of beer, but I played along for the fun, and it was fun. Drinking was not always involved. We went dancing until late in the night and just enjoyed hanging out. I pledged a sorority.

Frat brothers. As a member of the band, our sorority was nerdy. It was our new goal in life to turn it into a cool sorority on campus. The fraternity associated with us had some cool guys, who were also members of another frat house on campus. This opened doors to meet even more guys: boy crazy, remember. As a pledge, their wish was my command.

The president. When the president of the fraternity paid special attention to me, I was flattered. He flirted and made a point to always hang out with me. I encountered him multiple times a day in the band hall for rehearsals but also in the student union among his other frat brothers. He asked me to visit with him at his grandmother’s house on a couple of occasions. Coincidentally his grandmother had lived in my hometown and had a historical book in which my relatives were mentioned. He kissed me and would try to touch me in inappropriate places, but I was able to resist him. However, desires were ignited inside me from the new touches.

Temptation. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 10:13, “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.” I had a way of escape. I don’t know if I didn’t realize that this night was different than the other nights when I had been able to resist him. But, this night I did not escape. I recall a portrait hanging on the wall in the room where I was waiting to make-out. In the portrait, Jesus is standing at the door knocking, and I realize now that should have been my sign to escape.

Overpowered. Being a child of the 80s, I was not familiar with the term “date rape”. It was not something I had ever considered. Looking back, I know this happened to me. I do not recollect many details from that night. I remember crying. I don’t remember falling asleep, but when I woke up, it was morning. I was nude, in a twin sized bed with “John”, and I was bloody. Later, I discovered bruises on the inside of both thighs. I can only suppose that he had to hold my legs open due to my resistance.

Blame. I did not blame “John”. I blamed myself. I attended the party; I drank alcohol; and, I wanted to make-out. I should not have been drinking. As the years have passed, I have realized that my fault stops there. I know that I did not consent to sex. If only I would have asked for help.

Disappointment. The reason I did not ask for help was because I did not want to see the look of disappointment in the faces of my family. I still don’t. I remember telling my high school friends that I had lost my virginity and the shocked look that filled their faces. I don’t think I ever told them the whole dirty story.

Details. The “walk of shame” accompanying my story cannot be diminished until I stop traveling that path. Revelations 11:12 says, “And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.” I believe my release is in my testimony, every ugly detail. My closest friends were not at this particular party. Perhaps if they had been there I would have a different story to tell. We were at a fraternity pledge’s house. His parents were out of town for the weekend. We played quarters, and I may have had a beer. I do not remember drinking too much, and now I know I was drugged. I know we went into one of the bedrooms to make-out. Apparently he had grander plans. Details are fuzzy, and I actually remember very little. I can remember crying. I don’t recall undressing, so I must have passed out. I awoke the next morning, naked, nervous, and confused. I slipped out of the bed and noticed my clothes in a pile on the floor along with a used condom. I dressed quickly and headed straight to the bathroom. I cleaned up as best I could, but I was bleeding and never stopped for an entire week. I supposed the incident must have triggered my monthly cycle. I went back to the bedroom and surveyed the site before me. There on the bottom twin sized bunk lies “John” and a bloody mess. Humiliated as I feel, I am compelled to clean up the mess. I struggle to pull the sheets from around and under him. I search the house to find the laundry room. I just start the load washing and am startled by “Tommy”. This is his house. I imagine he wonders what I am doing, but I know he probably knows. I wish I could have fallen into his arms, cried, and told him I needed rescued.

Lost. I want to get away from here as fast as I can, but I have no idea where I am. I drove my car, but I just followed directions and really paid no attention to where I was going, so I’m stuck waiting on “John”. As I wait to remake the bed, “John” wakes up, and we talk a little. I do not remember what we spoke to each other, but I can remember being disgusted. I could see dried blood around his fingernails. I wanted to scream, “Go wash your hands!” We tried to clean the mattress before remaking the bed. The blood stains were stubborn, so we flipped the mattress and made it up. I cannot count the number of times I have imagined that family discovering the stained mattress.

Damaged. How can one night change everything? Lesson learned, I suppose. I gave up boys. Saying no was not a problem for me after losing my virginity. I realized that the boys really were only interested in sex and not me. “John” continued to plague me even though he never asked me out again. He would come up behind me at band functions and make noises in my ear. Noises he said I made during that night. This damaged me, for years after being married, I tried very hard not to make noises during sex. My husband thought he was doing something wrong because he wanted to hear the sounds of my pleasure. My personal hang ups took patience and years of love to overcome. I still have moments I struggle.
Found. With my decision made to forget boys, I was invited by friends to a Christian fraternity party. Soon after, I ran into a boy I met from the party, and he asked me for my phone number. So much for forgetting guys! We hit it off! Everything seemed to click. I was smitten.

Confessions. Our relationship escalated quickly. My new love interest is a preacher, a man of God, and from a preacher’s family. I love Jesus, and my entire life I could picture myself in full time ministry. I am falling fast in love. But, I’m faced with a great fear: “Will he still want me when he finds out I’m not a virgin?” I remember the day: we were sitting in the front circle drive, and before I could go any further in our relationship, I had to tell him the truth. It was one of the most difficult conversations of my life. Just saying the words tortured my soul. My heart broke telling this man, who I hoped would be my future husband, that I was used. I felt remorse, humiliation, fear, and sadness.

Redemption. He never blamed me, and he desperately encouraged me not to blame myself. His love for me was greater than any confession I might have. He loved me anyway. In spite of my circumstances, he showed me mercy. Instead of throwing out the pieces of my broken heart, he began the diligent process of putting the pieces back together again. I am loved.

Husbands. Ephesians 5:25-28 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.” Jesus loves us so much that He gave the ultimate gift of His life. He died that we might live. It’s unconditional love personified. We deserve death, but if we accept His free gift, we are granted life and life more abundantly. My husband loves me with that unconditional love. I live an abundant life with no fear. In the eyes of my husband, I am blameless. His love is greater than my sin.

Nothing. Romans 8:38-39: “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing can separate us from the love of God. God would not have any to perish and that’s why He sent Jesus to offer hope. (John 3:16) However, we have the choice. We must choose Christ, believe He is God’s son, and live for Him. His love is there for the taking. Only we have to accept it. It is easy to live with regret and unworthiness.

Everything. Matthew 11:28: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” There is an old song that says, “Take your burdens to the Lord and leave them there.” We carry our sins like a heavy weight, as if they define who we are. We can be so much more! “…let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”(Hebrews 12:1-2) Lay your past and present burdens at the feet of Jesus. He will restore everything you feel you have lost.

Shameless. Merriam-Webster puts it simply: “having no shame”. Romans 8:1 puts it: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus….” You ask God for forgiveness, He forgives and forgets, and that is important for your eternal life in Heaven. Now, you need to forgive yourself because that is important for the rest of your life on earth. Past mistakes and circumstances certainly have a hand in molding us to the people we become, but they don’t need to define the people we are today. Who you are today is determined by what you choose to do today. “Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.” (Romans 10:11) I encourage you to let go of the past and begin to live a shameless life today!

No Longer A Slave

Philemon vs 19 (NLT)

I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it. And I won’t mention that you owe me your very soul!

This short letter written to Philemon from Paul contains a story of second chances. History explains that Onesimus, as a slave, stole from his owner, Philemon, and ran away. Onesimus came to know Paul, and Paul introduced him to Jesus and a new life. Now that Onesimus has changed, Paul intends to send him back home, not as a fugitive slave, but a redeemed brother in Christ.

It’s comical to me. Apparently Paul knows that Philemon has a past, too. Paul does not elaborate but simply reminds Philemon, “…I won’t mention that you owe me your very soul!” Like a line from a sitcom, Paul says he won’t mention it, yet in that very statement, he mentions it.

I am certain Philemon’s heart melted toward his runaway slave, Onesimus, once Paul reminded him of his own second chance. Not only was Onesimus to be allowed to return, but he was also to be elevated. Onesimus left a slave but returned a brother. What an amazing God we serve!

We serve a God of second chances. And third chances, and fourth chances…… The redeeming blood of Jesus and our step of faith is all it takes.

Philemon vs 6

“I am praying that you will put into action the generosity that comes from your faith as you understand and experience all the good things we have in Christ.”

Today is a new day. The sun shines new every morning. I hope you realize your place in Christ and begin to live like the child of God you are not the slave of this world.


Titus 3:8b (NLT)

… so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good.

What does it mean to do good? Is “good” subjective?

Titus 3:14(NLT)

“Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others….”

When you do good, you are unselfishly thinking of others. The act of doing good becomes second nature when practiced. Titus 3:14 says you “must learn to do good by…”. You must take action. You must be about the practice of doing good, and the more you do good, the easier it will become.

Daily examples:

When driving in the parking lot and met by a pedestrian, stop, patiently, and allow the pedestrian the right away. Don’t speed up thinking, “they are walking too slow!”

Do good.

When you are out with a group of 11 people, do not sit at a table for 10. Consider everyone and draw in the outsider.

Do good.

When planning a meal, try to have something everyone likes. Occasionally, we focus on one family member or another, but we should strive to have options.

Do good.

When frustration attacks, take a step back, breathe, reevaluate the situation. Try a new approach.

Do good.

When the waitress seems to be having an especially bad day, and your service is directly hindered, show mercy. Smile, be kind, and tip well.

Do good.

Wave. Smile. Make eye contact. Greet a stranger. Slow down. Say, “I am sorry”. Think of others first. Be the last in line, somebody’s got to do it. Empty the dishwasher. Take out the trash. Replace the trash liner. Say, “I love you”. Say, “Jesus loves you”.

Do good.

When you do good, you “do😃 God”. You are God’s hands extended. He uses you.

[“DO GOOD” spelled backwards is “DOO GOD”.

I know it has an extra “o”, but phonetically it works.]😉

Mini Cooper Phenom

Galatians 6:4 (NLT)

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.

Glamour. Prestige. Power. It’s the stuff movies and books are made of. My friend embodies this lifestyle. She possesses strength, wit, and book smarts. Her successful career has been achieved through diligence and sacrifice. She has ups, and she has downs; but, her sheer determination and seemingly fearless work ethic propel her forward. What’s more, she is not finished. The best is yet to come. Each day, every experience, a stepping stone building the firm foundation for her next level.

Wife. Mother. Homemaker. Far from the hustle and bustle of the corporate world, my life could not be any more different than my friend’s. However, as a mother, sacrifices are made to ensure the successes of my children. I, too, experience the ups and downs along this roller coaster ride known as life. Maybe we aren’t so different, after all. Kindergarten through college, we share a plethora of memories: boys, friends, laughter, tears, and the occasional half gallon of Blue Bell. Almost 30 years have gone by, and the winds of time shape and mold us into different people. The memories linger. Reunited, the conversation flows, and though our paths differ, we remain connected.

We both drive Mini Coopers. Yes, we are not that different, after all.

Love, love, love

1 Timothy 1:5 (NLT)

The purpose of my instruction is that all believers would be filled with love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith.

Paul writes to his young protégé, Timothy, and he has a specific purpose in mind. Paul’s writings are not intended to be a list of dos and don’ts for believers. Oftentimes I tend to look at it that way. It’s easy to become overwhelmed and feel defeated as we “work” to please God.

Thank Jesus, that’s not the intention at all. Besides, Paul even tells us in 1 Timothy 1:15 that he is the worst sinner of all. Jesus uses Paul as our example, so we can know there is hope for us. “…[Jesus has] great patience with even the worst sinners.” (1 Timothy 1:15, NLT)

Paul’s intention is for everyone to be filled with love. Love. Personally, I love “love”! When we view life through the eyes of love, our perspective is renewed. And, Paul’s not referring to an “I love pizza” kind of love, but he means a special, unconditional love.

(1) “Love that comes from a pure heart”

How can we have a pure heart? Ask God and He will grant it. David prayed in Psalms 51:10 (KJV):

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

(2) “Love that comes from a clear conscience”

This seems impossible, but it’s not. Recognize that condemnation is not from God but from the devil. Repent – turn from your sins and move forward.

Romans 8:1(KJV):

There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus…

(3) “Love that comes from a genuine faith”

Have faith in God. In order to be filled with true love, we must believe in God.

Hebrews 11:6(KJV):

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Just believe.

You can not only experience this kind of love that comes from a pure heart, a clear conscience, and a genuine faith; but, you can walk in this love everyday!!

Take 5 minutes and reflect upon God’s unconditional love today! Then, as you carry on, grant that same love towards others.

It’s Exactly the Right Time

I remember vividly standing in line at Toys R Us to purchase only a package of diapers for which I held a coupon. Jacob sat in the buggy screaming and pitching a fit, and I could hear the ladies in line behind me discussing how “he’s too old to be acting that way…”. I am embarrassed and mad and just want to get out of that store!

“Too Old!?!” Jacob was not too old, as a matter fact, he was two years old. The exact age “to be acting that way”. People even call them the terrible twos for that exact reason!!! I made up my mind that day to never judge a young mother when her child throws a fit in public. Some moments are uncontrollable. Or…are they???

As I reflect upon that day, what could I have done differently? What prompted the fit in the beginning? Well, I was in Toys R Us with a two-year-old, enough said, but I will explain further. My mission was to purchase diapers, that’s all, nothing more. Jacob wanted to stop and play with the toys (the large cars and the Little Tikes brand displays). I was only thinking about diapers and said, “no”. Upon reflection, I should have taken five minutes and enjoyed the toys with my son.

One piece of advice with which I encourage all new parents is to enjoy each moment. The kids grow so fast, and you can never get those moments back. Hopefully, I learned from this experience and made some different choices after that.

For each moment in time, there is an exact right time for you to be present and involved. Some times are sad, and other times are happy. As long as you are breathing, this is your time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

…a time to every purpose under the heaven…

Embrace today! Live in this moment. Grieve in times of sadness. Rejoice in times of joy. Laugh in the goofy times. Cry in the hurting times. Just be. Don’t wish today away longing for the past or the future. Be present, now. It’s your time.

A Just Man

Matthew 1:19 (KJV)

Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

What does it mean to be espoused? A lot more than our engagements present day. When a man and woman were espoused, they were already completely committed to each other. They could not even call off the wedding without a formal divorce.

Joseph had the opportunity to disgrace Mary as he probably felt she had disgraced him. If he had taken her before the priest, she would have been stoned to death according to the law. But, because he was honorable, he honored Mary and decided to keep this situation private. Before Joseph heard from God, he displayed a godly character.

Then, the dream. Can you imagine the realization of years of prophecy being fulfilled before your eyes and at the care of your hands? Joseph obeyed God, loved Mary, and raised God’s son, Jesus, to have a godly character, too. What an awesome responsibility! What an awesome privilege!

Will you be ready to do the right thing even when adversity comes? God is looking for people who trust Him and make “just” decisions. Let God use you.

I encourage you to read the Christmas story for yourself this season. Be reminded of the precious gift God gave us all through His son, Jesus Christ. What a joy it is to celebrate His birth! What does the birth of Jesus mean to you?

Matthew 1:18-23

Luke 1:5-80

Luke 2:1-39

Bangs or No Bangs

The deed is done. There is not much use in asking now. But, the question plagued me from the moment I decided to try to grow out my bangs. It seems like such a small decision. Is it really that important of issue? It’s only hair! Or is it?

Toward July’s end, you might recall pictures of my highlighted hair. I like to refer to that stage as my “skunk style” because to me the large, chunky highlights looked more like streaks. It was not my finest hour. It was unplanned and not what I wanted, but I agreed to a “few highlights”. My mom texted me, “Don’t you know how to say ‘no’?”

Do I? This is difficult for me. I have a hard time saying “no”.

I tend to second-guess my decisions. I worry about what other people think. As I reflect upon my life, I recognize that many of my choices have been made based on others and not my own wants or desires.

As my bangs grew, before I had time to get a trim, I pinned them back out of my face. Sidenote: I cannot stand my hair in my eyes. I received a few compliments on my new style. Who doesn’t like compliments?

So, the next time I went for my trim, my stylist suggested that she liked my bangs off of my face, too. So, I agreed to let them grow, but it was a difficult choice because I prefer bangs.

I brought this up in a counseling session I attended. “I have a hard time making decisions.” The male counselor wanted an example, so I referred to my bangs. The funny part is that he had no idea what bangs are, so I had to give an entire explanation. I suppose it does sound confusing to think that bangs are actually created by cutting the hair. Generally, things that are cut off no longer exist, but in order for bangs to exist, you must cut them off. Interesting, huh? LOL.

Well, his advice for me was to look in the mirror over the next couple of weeks and decide what I like. I must not think of others, only myself. It sounds selfish, but in reality, who does my hair effect? Only me.

Guess what? I like bangs! On my face, I need my hair to be out of my eyes. Otherwise, I pin it back every day, or it drives me crazy. So, bangs it is.

Does this hair raising story have a point?

Even though there are times to prefer others and consider others’ feelings, it is important to make choices based upon what I like. I am the one who has to live with my choices, not others. My opinion matters. I can have a voice. I like what I like, and it may not be what you like, but that’s OK.

2 Corinthians 10:12

For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with them that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.